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24 June 2008

Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, Sears/UPS rant

by joshg253

June 29, 2000 was the birthday of my eldest niece, Triniti. In celebration of her octennial birthday, a new game in the Guitar Hero series will be released on a Sunday instead of a Tuesday like everything else. Guitar Hero: Aerosmith follows the thirty-plus-year career of famous-for-a-long-time-now-but-their-newer-stuff-is-so-fucking-gay band Aerosmith from when they were an opening band in high school to geriatrics. Basically, you’ll start out playing their best songs and by the time you get towards their current songs at the end, you’ll already be tired of the game or another game will come out and take you attention. Sounds fucking great to me. Well, that’s not quite how it will be. There are some of their older/good songs later in the game so you can’t get off that easily. Interestingly enough, there are songs by other bands in the game too. Wikipedia has a nice list of the songs.

 

My PS3 should arrive in the next day or so with MGS4. I’ve had GTA IV sitting here for a week now while Sears and/or UPS stop playing with their dicks and get my shit shipped out. I’m going camping this weekend so I won’t get much time in on either of those before this game comes out. Short workweeks this week and next should give me time to catch up.

INT. SHIPPING WAREHOUSE - SUNRISE
UPS enters the Sears warehouse to pick up JOSH G's MGS4 PS3 bundle and notices SEARS sitting at the edge of a desk with a mega-huge erection.
SEARS
Get my dick out. Get yours out too.
UPS
Auh?
SEARS
Don't be a pussy, scro. Beats jail, don't it?
UPS
I like money though.
INT. OFFICE - MIDDAY
JOSH checks UPS's website to track his order only to find that it is now past the scheduled delivery date and the status hasn't been updated.
JOSH G
Fuck my life.
tags: Aerosmith - camping - GTA IV - Guitar Hero - Metal Gear Solid 4 - PS3 - Sears - UPS - video games